We'll have you, washed and dried
Primped and polished till you glow
Trust my recipe for instant bride
You'll bring honor to us all.
A girl can bring her family
Great honor in one way
By striking a good match
And this could be the day
We all must serve our Emperor
Who guards us from the Huns
A man by bearing arms
A girl by bearing sons
Not yet! An apple for serenity
A pendant for balance
Beads of jade for beauty
You must proudly show it
Now, add a cricket, just for luck,
And even you can't blow it!
Ancestors, hear my plea,
Help me not to make a fool of me
And to not uproot my family tree
Keep my father standing tall.
Scarier than the Undertaker,
We are meeting our matchmaker!
Destiny, guard our girls,
Help our future as it fast unfurls
Please look kindly on these cultured
Each a perfect porcelain doll
I will never pass for a perfect bride
I'm not meant to play this part?
That if I were truly to be myself
I would break my family's heart.
Mushu chases him out of the yard. 
The Hun army comes to a stop by a marsh.
Two Chinese soldiers are dragged out.
For a long time we've been marching off.
In our thundering herd, we feel a lot.
Our aching feet aren't easy to ignore.
Hey! Think of instead, a girl worth!
That's what I said! A girl worth fighting!
I want her paler than the moon.
My girl will marvel at my strength!
I couldn't care less what she'll wear!
It all depends on what she cooks like!
Bet the local girls thought you were charmer!
And Ill bet the ladies love a man in armor!
You can guess what we have missed the most.
My girl will think I have no flaws
How 'bout a girl who's got a brain?
He thinks he's such a lady-killer!